Spilling Ink
by xBeex
Summary: Severus wishes he was the one Lily wanted.


**A/N: Hello everyone, I hope you all enjoy this short one shot. :) **

** *Brittney**

An awkward lanky boy of seventeen was slumped against an old oak tree. His pale hooked nose was stuffed into a ragged brown book. He was scribbling in the margins with a quill that definitely lacked potential. Scowling the boy bit his bottom lip, furrowed his bushy eyebrows together then scratched something out. Furious with his results the boy snapped the book shut and shoved it into his book bag.

Knocking over his ink bottle that was perched at his side, the boy bit his lip even harder then snatched the bottle from the grass and engrossed it in his pale hand. Reaching for his bag once more, his spine tensed, and a sudden change came over him. His breathing became staggered as he leaned forward, but at the same time, buried himself against the truck of the oak tree, holding himself back. Narrowing his eyes the lanky boy spotted a small group of four boys and a pretty fiery read headed girl as they crossed the grounds together.

A tall medium built, boy with shaggy jet black hair muttered something to his friends causing the three to snicker. Each of the boys cast they're leader with admiring looks, all wishing they were in his shoes. The girl, who happened to step closer to the lanky boy by the tree, just rolled her eyes and tossed her hair behind her ear, but it was clear she was amused with what took place. The lanky boy wrinkled his nose and stuck it in the air. However, he found himself creeping closer to the beautiful girl, his palms sweat at the thought of being alone with her once more.

The young girl, oblivious to her on looker, turned to her fellows, "Sorry boys but I have to go…"

The lanky boy swooned at the sound of her voice, like it was all he had in the world. He loved her, her laugh, smile, and cheerful demeanor. She was beautiful and perfect.

She was his unpicked Lily.

The boy's stomach dropped as he watched the jet haired boy entwine his fingers with the girls, pulling her into him. The girl smiled playfully at her love and gently ran her fingers through his messy hair. The couple leaned in close and exchanged a few soft words only they could hear. The lanky boy snarled at the scene laid out before him. His beautiful Lily deserved a better love interest. Anyone was better than James Potter. The boy who thought himself a god because of a tiny ball he manages catches out of thin air.

Ridiculous.

He'd known Lily far longer than that pompous idiot. And if he really wanted to _he_ could fly around on a broom and catch that stupid ball himself, it couldn't possibly be that hard. The lanky boy shook his head and brought himself back to reality, he froze as he looked at the couple. His Lily was now lost in the arms of the pathetic Potter boy.

Snogging the chap who she once hated with a burring passion. The boy's fist tightened around the ink bottle causing it to shatter. Its pitch-black contents sprayed far and wide. He felt as if he'd burst along with the bottle. As if his emotion, what was left of them, lay among the plush grass. His heart pounded. Jealousy and shame were now clouding his every thought. He wanted to scream. Attack everything with full force, but there was no use.

Lily was with Potter now. The lanky boy didn't want to believe it, but the truth was right in front of him. The jet haired boy didn't deserve his Lily, his beautiful flower. That boy didn't deserve the smartest and bravest girl in the whole school. That boy wouldn't appreciate her for who she really was. That pathetic boy hadn't befriended Lily when she was young and confused. He didn't reassure her that she was normal and helped her with magic. He wasn't the one she ran away with when her parents fought. And he definitely wasn't the one who would pick her flowers and leave them on her windowsill every night before she went to sleep. But none of that made a difference.

The lanky boy's lips formed a small smirk as he looked back at the couple. When faced with a choice between himself and James Potter, he knew he had no chance in heck. Potter was popular, handsome, surrounded by friends and a family who care and appreciated him for who he was. All he, Severus Snape, had was his spells and potions.

He'd always known it would come down to this, a choice between the two boys. And even thought he wished it wasn't true, he already knew the outcome. Severus couldn't help but to long to be that boy in Lily's arms, to feel her gentle touch. To hear her whisper in his ear and giggle with her over things only they would understand.

He couldn't help thinking that never again would they laugh together. Never again could he spend time with his first and only love. Never again would they sit under the old oak together, talking long into the night.

Never again could he pretend that maybe, just maybe she might like him back.

Severus crumpled against the tree trunk and wrapped his arms around his knees pulling them to his chest. Begging them to give him the comfort he so longed for. "I'll miss you my flower." He whispered, releasing a staggered breath.


End file.
